DIARY OF A BLACK MAN ~ RICH SKIN’DED WOMEN

The first of some oldies but goodies from the archives of: Diary of an Angry Black Man

To me there is no better way to start this article except by saying:

I LOVE DARK SKIN WOMEN!

To be exact dark skin women meet and exceed my highest definition of beauty. To each their own preference for what they are attracted to; but for me there is no question;

I PREFER MY COFFEE BLACK!

This article is dedicated to Dark Skin Women and all the young dark skin girls of the world. I

would like to say this article is solely a romantic expression inspired by my burning love for dark skin but that is not my only inspiration for writing this. This article is inspired in part by a dire need to construct more inclusive standards of beauty for the love of dark skin girls and women. This article was written to address a culture that attacks the esteem of dark women. This article was written to be a positive affirmation for richly “complected” women. This article is written to inspire greater appreciation of a beautiful grade of women whom a good portion of the world has forgotten to love. Below is a list of organically structured brainstormed) points and affirmations that I have written in dedication and honor to all of my black roses out there.

#TeamDarkSkin

1. MY DAUGHTER IS LIGHT-SKIN’DED!!!

Herein lies the balancing act; in the mind of the hypothetical Black Father looms the question: How might your open expressions about your dark skin preference and discussions about melanin affect the esteem of your light brown skinned princess? I tell her the same thing I tell myself; I am a milk chocolate brown and I am very happy with my complexion. By no means when I say statements like “the blacker the berry…..” do I belittle my own color or anyone else’s, even if I do think “the blacker = the richer” (define “richer” I dare you”). When I celebrate Blackness I am paying homage to the base color of humanity, the color I see at the origins of all men and women. When I celebrate black; I am paying homage and giving thanks to that which WE ALL came from. I tell my daughter she is the most beautiful thing on earth and she is the most special brown that exists. And if I had another child I would say they are the two most special browns that exist, and if I had three children of varying complexions I would tell them that they are the three most special three browns that exist. And I would tell them that I do not care how light God makes your three brown’s, there is no brown possible without *perfect black. There is no caramel possible without perfect black. There is no vanilla possible without perfect black.

I tell my daughter to observe light-skin privilege and to monitor how her dark skin sisters are treated. One step further I teach her to identify with, empathize with, and align with the needs of her dark-skin sisters. I let her know strongly to never, ever, ever forget to support her dark-skin sisters, and to never let this world favor you away from their side. I tell her to never let society create color-lines and divides in that sisterhood and that any table where your dark-skin sister is not accepted is not acceptable. Any place where your dark-skin sister is not wel-come should not be well-to-go and any society where your dark sisters are deemed less worthy is a society that is worth less. I teach her anyone who cannot appreciate dark-skin sisters; cannot fully appreciate her brown skin and I let her know that no matter how light she is; she is perfectly black.

2. YO MAMA SO BLACK TOO!!!

“Yo mama so black, when she comes outside, I get free nights and weekends.”

Jokes aside I don’t care who you are; or from what hut in Africa you descended; or from what cave in Europe were derived (stereotypical slurs equally dispersed). Your ancestry is as black as three and a half nights. PERIOD! I don’t care if your name is Okiwa Nkwayzu from Congo or Harrington Beckham from the Swiss Alps; your ancestry began at pitch black. If you’re truly racism free; that is easy to accept. I always say: “There is no such thing as racism; only self-hate”. I don’t care who you are, you can’t hate Black without hating yourself, because I don’t care who you are; if you trace your lineage far enough you are going to find yourself in the heart of Africa surrounded by a bunch of folk as black as Osirus from the hieroglyphs (Yeah look him up, the picture and the history). So again, yes; “Yo Mama So Black Too”.

In fact: “yo mama so black she got a PHD in Hide-N-Seek” and that should be cool with you because; BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL! PERIOD!

3. IF I WAS A “_______” I WOULD………

• If I was a “RAP STAR” I would make dark skinned models the majority features in my videos.

• If I was a PRESIDENT, PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE or A STAR; I would marry a dark skin woman like Barack, Denzel, Dwayne Wade & Lebron James did. #MyFirstladyIsBlack #SlamDunk #ItsAWrap

• If I was a “CHILDREN’S SHOW DIRECTOR” I would make a cartoon with predominately dark skinned characters and I would practice ethnic responsibility and be inclusive of other nationalities but would portray the other nationalities as equally *authoritative, *intelligent, *dignified, civil and respectable. Not as the buffoons or cultural comic relief.

• If I was a “LIGHT-SKIN’DED GIRL” I would shun light skin privilege at every interval and use my “acceptance and privy” to promote the beauty of #TeamDarkSkin. I would raise my kids with an inclusive concept of beauty and teach them to love dark skin as much as their own complexion (if not their own).

• If I was a “MOVIE DIRECTOR” I would recognize ONE OF THEE MOST DESTRUCTIVE METAPHORS THAT DAMAGES YOUNG DARK BOYS AND GIRLS SUBCONSCIOUS IMAGE OF THEMSELVES; AND I WOULD BOYCOTT THE NOTORIOUS AND DESTRUCTIVE USAGE OF THE WORDS LIGHT AS A METAPHOR FOR GOOD AND DARK OR BLACK AS A METAPHOR FOR BAD. This is one of the most unnoticed yet frequently used and harmful word cultures that impacts the self-image of dark children at the most elementary and vulnerable stages of life.

• If I was a “WHITE” TEACHER or SOCIAL WORKER I would recognize that whether or not they come as the result of social engineering, the concepts of race and color are now real and exist as part of one’s identity and it is absolutely crucial for children and people to have role models that resemble them both in appearance and culture. If I was a “White” teacher I would do my best to be humble and recognize that no matter how much good I can want to do and shall do, the greatest example that will impact black and brown children are the successes of other black and brown people. And that even though I as a white teacher or social worker can never be that Black or Brown example, with humility I would be wise enough to find others who can be those examples and I will be wise enough to incorporate black and brown images and cultural concepts in my instruction.

• If I was A PARENT (which I am) I would protect my brown child from the media at every interval. No you cannot SAVE them from it. You have to equip them with internal defense mechanisms, you have to train them to overcome the self-destructive messages they will inevitably encounter. Meaning: it is impossible to shelter them from a reality that is EVERYWHERE, you can only prepare them for it. And you cannot intellectualize adversity, the only way they can truly overcome adversity is to actually experience it, to shelter them is to deny them critical life practice. Equip them with wholesome information and healthy self-images as soon as the pregnancy test reads +Positive and control their environment only enough so that they can test their will and training against real life challenges. I don’t outlaw my daughter from every bad show on TV sometimes I watch them with her and have dialogue about it, your adult wisdom and intuition should tell you what your child is ready for. And if you’re not sure; then test them and ask them questions to gage their intellectual and emotional maturity. Soon they will not need you to tell them that “their true self is beautiful” or ask them “how many brown people can you count on the screen” or ask “what are the roles of the brown characters” because they will be aware of the patterns in society and against esteem defeating odds they will practice self defense.

4. MELANIN IS REAL!

I really don’t care nor do I have the time to elaborate but Melanin is real my Sis’tars and it is way more than a pigment. Study for yourself and know exactly why I say you are RICH.

“Thinking melanin only gives you color, is almost like thinking the earth is only something you stand on.” #LightSpeedProVerbs

5. YA’LL MUST’A 4GOT!!!

Earliest Human Bones Ever Found:

“LUCY” – Dark Woman – What’chu 4got?

Most Successful Female Tennis Player:

“Venus Williams” – Dark Woman – What’chu 4got?

One of the World’s Most Successful/Rich Women:

Oprah Winfrey – Dark Woman – What’chu 4got?

Some of the Greatest Female Singers of All Time:

Anita Baker, Whitney Houston, Patti LaBelle – Dark Women – What’chu 4got?

2 of the Most Famous Models of All Time:

Naomi Campbell, Tyra Banks – Dark Women – What’chu 4got?

Most Succesful African American Poet of All Time:

Maya Angelou – Dark Woman – What’chu 4got?

****To my light-skin’ded girls there are many great women amongst yall’s ranks, I will save that for my letter to light-skin’ded women***

6. ROSES WITHOUT THORNS!!!

My beautiful dark skin sisters, the ones of you who truly love your skin, your hair, texture, your features. Your are a shining example of beauty of resilience and of womanhood. Few can understand how great a triumph you have achieved to be able to love yourself against a world of conflicting images. Trust I am not naïve enough to believe I can know what doubts and obstacles you have had to face, but I know it was not easy and I applaud you. To my sisters on that road to self-acceptance, until we shift this paradigm know that this road will not be easy. Keep fighting sister. “They” have so many stereotypes for you, “they” label and portray you as angry, wild, over sexual objects, superficial, unintelligent, confrontational, violent and everything else under the sun. I see all the campaigns against you and all the hurdles and obstacles you face on the road to self-love. The thing that hurts me most to see is to see our sisters believe those lies and begin to embody the labels they have been force-fed. Stay as beautiful as you were born dark girl and don’t for a moment let this harsh environment make you bitter, or convince you to feel less beautiful or worthy. And in your attempt to survive an environment that is designed to be harsh against your esteem, please do not pack on too much armor and become the very thing you are fighting. You are better than that; you are more beautiful than a rose; you have no need to develop thorns. I am not the only person who loves you, and I am not the only person who will never abandon you. I hope this short article reminds you of your beauty, and I hope your mirror reminds you more. May all attempts to undermine your beauty fall at your ankles, and after all may your blackness and rainbows of brown, caramel and vanilla equally enjoy full knowledge of the abundant beauty you all posses.

With <3,

Your un-secret admirer

………………………………………….

……………..POEM…………….

………………………………………….

Rich-Skin Girl

A poem for your journey of self- acceptance

………………………………………….

Rich-skin girl let me whisper something in your ear

Something that will make you smile from the inside out

Smile like I told you the world’s greatest secret

And the secret was that your beauty is the world’s greatest secret

Rich-skin girl, I just want you to know

I am forever your fan, your un-secret admirer,

The last time your eye twitched I was probably thinking of you

The last time your neck itched I was probably staring at you

And the last time you felt like you were being followed….well….

That’s another story but…

The last time you felt un-pretty I must not have been around because rich-skin girl

You are my definition of beauty

………………………………………….

I would be honored if you would allow me to give you some more reasons to smile

I see you, in all your glory and there is nothing more beautiful to me

Every shade of you is like currency to me, you are so rich in colour

You are so blessed in complexion, you are so ripe with flavour

You remind me of the nighttime where plants grow, the soil where seeds are nurtured

You remind me of the foundations that life depends on

You remind me of the peace I feel when I close my eyes

And all I can see is blackness

You are literally the color of my dreams

Rich-skin girl, I just want you to know

I like my coffee black

………………………………………….

Beautiful rich-skin girl I will never leave your side

I know your story, I know about the subliminal attacks

I know about the campaigns, I know about your pains

I know they don’t want you to have a turn, I know what you internalize

But I know you internally

I love you eternally

And I will never turn back from that

………………………………………….

Rich-skin girl I know your journey has been long

and the TV screens haven’t been big enough for your beauty

I know the runways are still not strong enough to hold your grace

I know that magazine pages aren’t thick enough

and they haven’t invented ink rich enough for your quality

but while society catches up to your beauty

I wrote you a poem that’s at least vivid enough to describe your shadow

I hope this poems reminds you of what you know about yourself

And if not I hope you borrow what I think of you and allow this poem to play on repeat in your mind

Like a soundtrack to your life validating every dark skin step you take in this world.

I hope it repeats in your head until everything you see becomes a mirror that reads “you are beautiful”

Rich-skin girl if there was ever a crime committed on earth it was your beauty overlooked

Your beauty in this world is like a diamond in the hands of a fools

Your beauty is like gold in front of men with blindfolds

Like timeless scripts in the hands of an illiterate society

And to me your beauty was always so easy to read

Rich-skin girl, I will not let them convince you that you are poor

………………………………………….

Rich girl, they mis-label you poor black girl

but if you were poor there would be no botox

If you were poor there would be no melatonin

If you were poor there would be no tanning booth

If you were poor there would be no auto-tune

If you were poor they would not have needed a brown paper bag

If you were poor they would not try so hard to hide your beauty

They know you are beauty-full and I see what they have tried to reduce you to

You are hot and spicy and sweet yet they portray you as cold and bitter

And they try to convince you that you are cold and bitter

But even when you believe them, I don’t believe you because….

I have seen who you are and even at your most bitter the worst you get is bitter-sweet

And even at your coldest underneath that white frost is a layer of rich that is warmer than summer in Miami

………………………………………….

So im patient with that rich-skin girl, and you be patient with that rich-skin girl

Be patient with that girl who has the weight of the world on her skin

Be patient with that girl, she is not sassy, she is not angry, she is not animalistic

She is not wild, she is as peaceful as a summer night

She is as forgiving as a spring breeze

Her skin has been hunted, she has been labeled

She has been carbon-copied, plagiarized and cloned

She has had her womb violated, her mind broken and entered

Her dignity targeted, aimed at, and conspired against

And she has had her beauty treated as worthless yet sold for a fortune while she watched

She is a vessel of gold that has been mistaken for a pennys’ share

And the only revenge she has taken on the world is maybe an attitude

If that is not rich, then “they” are beyond poor

And regardless of what “they” think;

I like my coffee black

And rich

………………………………………….

~Arafat Akbar (Cre8iv)